(Overrated)

Love comes to me easily
and I make it stay
although I know, I know in my heart
the exact time it must leave
I make love, love me, want me, miss me
perhaps not me; the version I craft
for love to see
what love wants it to be.

Love comes to me easily
and I make it stay
for if not love who else shall it be?
although I know, I know in my heart
love’s fine without me
I make love some tea, sing by the couch, tell a story
of a dream weaved together
does it even matter?

Love comes to me easily
and I make it stay
for now love knows so much of me
although I know, I know in my heart
there’s a new world shaping inside me
I make love light some candles, watch the sky, call for meaning
for love to find love within
maybe that’s how love should be.

Love comes to me easily
and I make it stay
although I know, I know in my heart
how I want to hold back
I make love discover a lost photo, an old promise, a better me
that’s not enough, never will it be
for real love is setting free.

Yet love comes to me easily
and this time I let it go
although I know, I know in my heart
life ahead is hard
facing questions with no answers
crevices of unknown depth
but the sun’s yet shining up so bright
So I look at myself in the mirror and ask why
for love is also choosing yourself
knowing your wrong, making it right.

(C) Nazneen Kachwala

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accept what you can’t CHANGE what you can’t accept

Our lives oscillate between these two thoughts. What will you choose? Which one will you strike off? I often choose peace above everything else. But can we call it “peace ” if it’s not aligned with our conscience, mind and to the whole being? Do we need such peace? How long can we refrain from a war essential for peace, if that’s what it comes down to when we reject peace that is born out of submission, that accepts stagnancy?

I choose change above peace.

Why accept when you can change, and you must change? Why act just to please, and hide from your truth? Why not break this wheel today? To speak and hear what you want to, decide, power up, leave, and stay? Why not be free today?

— Nazneen Kachwala

Process & Purpose

Uncertainties scare us. The mental projection of having a controlled life device all our plans for predictable prosperity. There is action based on the accumulation of knowledge through books, discussions, and experiences of self and of others. But how can all this be validated and put to use in purely personal situations? Every individual has an accumulation of different sets of values, experiences, lessons, knowledge, sanskars, and filters through which they perceive the journey of life. And this difference makes each of us unique. How can we then rely on the learnings from a perspective separate from ours to navigate through the situations of our lives? How can our own experience of the past, the knowledge of the past, be applied in the constantly changing present? The situation as viewed through different lenses will appear different, similarly, the same individual may perceive the same situation differently with the changing lens of time. We label the situations, and people according to our lenses. As we change the lens, the label changes. How can we then justify being true to the situation, self, and life?

A simple answer to this is removing all the lenses that we wear from the past, and viewing the situation and self as it is. It starts with plain viewing and then observing and lastly understanding. Do we understand ourselves? Our lenses, filters, and the consequent mental projections? The only approach to this is meditating upon ourselves, not letting any thought, word, projection, or action go unnoticed – plain viewing without judgments, comparisons, or conclusions of good and bad, right and wrong. And then taking mental and physical notes – repeating this over months and years, we come to an understanding of self. I am reminded of the three words in this context – Tawassum, Tadabbur, & Tafakkur – reflection, thinking, and contemplation. This sets in the process.

But to what purpose? Why did we evolve to an extent to develop this kind of thinking? And what next? Or what’s towards the end? The curiosity of the end will come to rest when we adhere to the process. The purpose is to bring consistency to this process. Make the necessary corrections and shifts, remove all the lenses, labeling no situation, person, or self. More importantly, living in the present. A human mind either lives in the past or the future. Both cannot be touched. Past is only a memory, and the future is only a mental projection of our accumulations. It is only the present, this moment that we can hold and embrace. This moment is the only certainty. This moment alone is our purpose. And the purpose of the moment is to follow the process. 

In Light & Gratitude – Nazneen Kachwala

Choices & Chances

Zahir are the actions of an individual as visible in the outer world whereas Batin is the intention of the heart. Both work in a cyclic form complementing each other in purifying the soul. Most often we count upon good intentions and try putting a different meaning to an otherwise damaging action. “He didn’t mean it or she didn’t mean it.” We hear this. But I believe we cannot have the audacity to act until we live the situation and its consequences in our minds. When we act, we only choose to manifest our thoughts into reality. However, as a general tendency, we act fast to bad thoughts and respond late to good thoughts. Good and bad are subjective, of course. But we always know what’s our ‘good’ and ‘bad’. It’s just that the latter carries such irresistible diabolic energy, that we fall for momentary gratification, closing our eyes to all the possible repercussions we already know of. We may deny, give a hundred reasons defending our actions, and can give numerous subjective opinions and arguments about it, but practically, we always choose.

One thing I have experienced and learned with time – easy choices are mostly bad choices. And yes, we can make bad choices. We must give ourselves the space and liberty to do so. But growth comes when we develop the ability to understand, and acknowledge those and, given a second chance, choose responsibly, guarding our values above everything else. Life throws at us many chances, and our choices also define our chances. At times, we may have no chance to choose, while at others we may choose not to take a chance. Whatever, you choose, whatever chances you have – keep it simple. Avoid complexities – in thoughts, words, emotions, and actions. 

We do get affected by the choices of others around us. Particularly of those we tend to depend upon and expect from. Empathize with their choices. Doubt less and trust more. We may or may not be able to control the external factors to our liking but we can always culture our minds to remain unaffected in an unlikely situation. That’s the real test, isn’t it? And why control? Why depend on outer means for self-appeasement? 

Ask yourself difficult questions, the right questions. Ask yourself ‘why’ often. Let go whenever necessary even if it’s not easy. It’s not meant to be easy. Tough choices do not always bring better chances but it definitely gives a clear conscience and nothing can ever beat that. Nothing better than aligning our Zahir and Batin.

Let this circle of choices and chances, of Zahir and Batin, the seen and the unseen, be pure, with clarity in thoughts and meaning in actions.

In Light and Gratitude,

Nazneen Kachwala

Give up, or not?

In his book, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, Viktor Frankl talks about the ‘enforced mental and physical primitiveness’ of the prisoners in the concentration camp. The author talks about three psychological reactions a prisoner in the camp underwent: shock during the initial admission, apathy, and insensitiveness arising due to daily beatings after which the prisoner cared only for himself, and finally detachment with self, one’s own body, mind leading to moral deformity, bitterness and disillusionment that stayed with him even after his liberation. However, he also mentions the ‘intensification of inner life (that) helped the prisoner find a refuge from the emptiness, desolation and spiritual poverty.’ He narrates how his love for his wife grew to an extent that it wasn’t necessary for him to know whether she was dead or alive.

We, the prisoners of our circumstances, often present similar psychological patterns. At one of the spiritual sessions I attended, it was discussed how easily people tend to give up today – on careers, relationships, friendships, and life. Many see ‘giving up’ as a sign of mental weakness. Dostoevsky, a Russian novelist defines man as a being who can get used to anything. Sure he does, but should he? There are mental boundaries of endurance, an untimely crossing of which lets ‘giving up’ seep in – either in the form of a breakdown, revolt or through the acceptance of the situation driving him eventually towards resentment and hate.

This is a sign of simply not understanding the psychological limitations and pushing hard to expand them. Forced expansion of a substance brittle in nature is sure to break. Flexibility and flow of the mind can create limitless expansion with high endurance capabilities, but that doesn’t happen without preparedness. Understanding our mental boundary, and respecting it is the first step. Next is to analyze and break the mental, emotional, psychological, and situational patterns. Becoming uncomfortable, and living with it until we get comfortable again. That’s one of the many signs of growth, and progress. What good is it to be stuck in situations for a lifetime and feel helpless about it?

Constant contemplation and meditation upon the idea of self and its relation with all fellow beings is a significant aspect of the mental preparation for its expansion. And lastly, never feel guilty if your mind is not in the state you wish to see it, give it time, practice patience, and forgive yourself for you know you will not remain the same. Trust the process. Don’t hesitate to give up, if your boundaries don’t permit you to take up more today. Enough of imagining Sisyphus happy. But be kind to yourself. And have faith that tomorrow will be different, and better than today.

In Light & Gratitude,

Nazneen Kachwala

Giving and Receiving

We have always been socially and culturally conditioned in placing the givers in the category of higher humans. There’s a proportionate share of the immediate family, relatives, friends, society, community, nation, and environment, in everything we gain and achieve and that’s why we give. The philosophy of minimalism supposedly also is an extension of this conviction. Giving is great, giving makes you great – in everyone’s and also in your own eyes. It brings with it a lot of responsibility and growth. And also, a sense of pride. Pride. Not that there’s anything wrong with pride; it’s too complex a subject of discussion. I never for a reason could decide whether or not it helps me for there have been situations both ways. Although pride makes us appreciate ourselves, when it seeps into our heads, it blinds us. Cultured by this mixed thought process for years, I never could fully comprehend the power of receiving.

Through Vipassana, I knew closely what receiving means. Everything that sustains us physically, mentally, and spiritually for those couple of days is technically a charity. A charity by someone we don’t know and will never know of. As givers, we often compromise peace by taking roles that we don’t align with emotionally, as receivers we perfectly work on those emotions with clarity, and peace.

Giving brings confidence, receiving provides courage. Giving speaks of empathy, receiving brings humility. Giving builds foundations for relationships, and receiving gives strength to sustain them. We know greatness when we give, we know gratitude when we receive. 

Humans otherwise have been natural receivers; everything we have is practically a gift. From the time when we are born to the time when we die, our lives, careers, passions, positions, the air we breathe, the sun that shines, and the earth that sustains us. Probably the regard or indebtedness for these invaluable offerings inculcates the feeling of resistance to receiving. However, the circle of giving is not complete without our willingness to be open to receiving.

In Light & Gratitude,

Nazneen Kachwala

Escaping & Finding

When days are long
and nights are longer
silence in eyes,
and storms in heart grow stronger
reach out for meadows
where winds are slow
to the hidden bed of flowers
sky floating low
where light is mixed
in chirps of prayer
to all the hues
kneels the air
for no meaning at times
has meaning too
for escaping at times
means finding ‘you’

(c) Nazneen Kachwala

Mistake

A mistake repeated a hundred times eventually doesn’t look to be a mistake, except it surely is. Who decides what a mistake is? The definitions vary with perspectives, but ultimately it’s our consciousness that knows the best, that silently points out if we were wrong. And the biggest wrong we do is being unjust to ourselves. Most often people categorize this as ‘selfish’ and ‘self-centered’ but that’s from a perspective that itself is ingrained against the values it preaches and with many prejudices. Being kind and considerate of self and more importantly knowing what we stand for, what we look up to, acknowledging what we expect from ourselves, and accepting what we can and cannot agree to, brings a lot of clarity and makes for an easier way forward. But at times situations, rather emotions are more complex than simply put on paper. There’s no single way to navigate through the matter, as many psychological, intellectual, and physical dimensions are associated with it. So let’s try and keep it simple, as far as possible. 

We know what action is going to invite problems; now I am not asking to play safe. Never. All I am saying is before we agree upon any decision, our minds throw out a momentary vision of how the future will look; just trust and respect that vision for that’s our inner self, our consciousness, and probably the universal intellect trying to communicate with us. Confidence and clarity are two different aspects. Whereas confidence can easily be challenged, clarity speaks for itself. Paying heed to those visions, intuitions, or signals, whatever we call them, and using them as a guiding compass brings clarity of thought and action, and build confidence with time.

There’s no denial of the fact that things are not always the way we want them to be but there definitely is no harm in expecting things to be our way. And we certainly are capable of making things work our way by trusting our instincts, and that universal connection. Life teaches us some valuable lessons and it keeps teaching us until we learn for a good teacher never leaves her student directionless. Perhaps everything we do in between is a mistake. 

In Light & Gratitude,

Nazneen Kachwala

Letting go…

They say it’s easy to let go

to get away & start a new

but it takes away your gathered flowers,

your oceans, stars & moon.

Yet when you clench it for long

it’ll stop breathing & die of its own

& this time when it goes

it’ll take away a piece of you.

~ Nazneen Kachwala

#poem#poetry#thinking

Love Stories For New Adults – an Ebook Compiled By www.tellmeyourstory.biz

Amidst all the stigmas, bigotries, and rights and wrongs, love manages to thrive. An evergreen subject of constant debate, love has conspired to shape devotion, conservation, art, poetry, wars, and even politics. Love Stories For New Adults is an anthology of ten contemporary love stories by ten present-day authors belonging to different backgrounds, age groups, and perceptions. Likewise, all the stories in this book are distinctively unique.

Dating apps have redefined the rules of love. As much as this helps to bring a few hearts closer, it also acts as a downright medium for the opportunists. Pankaj Dubey’s ‘The Right Swipe’ is a story of love-starved girl Suparna resorting to the modern ways to find love. ‘Blue Sky’ by Kheda Baidya is a humble story about a dutiful wife and mother, reminiscing some of the chapters of her life, and trying to write the new ones. S. Arun Kumar has picked rather a simply complex subject ‘Love Letter’. The story revolves around identifying the secret admirer and the confusion it brings along. Kathakali Mukherjee, on the other hand, in her story ‘In Search of a Love Story’, has beautifully captured the story of two women who left behind their usual life for an unusual one, for the sake of nothing but love.

“I met her partner, a sewing machine teacher in a school, in the evening. Her sight shocked me – the dark, extremely thin, tall lady with an unfriendly face and rude penetrating eyes was quite a contrast to my fat jolly grandma not only in looks but also in behavior”

Pradyuman Mishra’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ is yet another story of complex emotions, about finding the right partner for someone you love. The fast-paced story with a sudden turns of events towards the end leaves you contemplating about the protagonist’s choice. ‘Love, Longing & Beyond’ written by Afshen Khan is a heart-touching story of two lovers separated years ago, meeting at an altogether different stage of their lives.

“Their eyes met after forty years.’Mr. Dasgupta, you can sit in the lawn with Mithali Ji. She will tell you about the renovation plan for our old age home. You can handover the cheque to her’ the caretaker interrupted.”

And then there is Devang Desai’s ‘Behind the Scenes’, the story of Sajjan, Madhu, and Kalpana, and the discovery of their true love. The author has written some gripping dialogues, and narration, that holding the reader’s attention all the while.

“Love was her religion; her joy was in many seductions and not in the pursuit of seeking an anchor. I had only you in mind and there would never be another to waste time on. I made her see that in you. I had to make those secret pacts and drills that made her attached and bound.”

‘Rising Above the Blue’ by Nazneen Kachwala, is a story of passionate love finding means to survive in the middle of the strangest circumstantial build-ups. The story dramatically goes back and forth in time depicting the relationship of a father and daughter besides those of two inseparable lovers.

“As the evening set in, the game went on to become more exciting for the duo. They could not take their eyes off each other. There was the obvious playful touch that kept turning intimate with every passing moment. He held her waist as she bent for a strike. She held his hand close to her bosom. One thing led to another. In no time they found themselves in each other’s arms, kissing.”

Shunu Mashi’s loving character in Purnesh Bhattacharya’s ‘A Less Imagined LOVE STORY’ steals all the charm; however, the storyline firmly narrates the aspirations of 41-year-old Jatin seeking a perfect partner. The complexities of Jatin’s character are flawlessly described. The last story of the book, ‘Myself Adnanji’ by Sufi House is ten folds different. The sweetness in the title is in itself quite alluring. Setup in Lahore’s oldest red-light district, the story has almost all the elements of love, drama, and tint of action making it a superb read. This is a soulful story of Adnan, a simple young local shopkeeper’s boy and Jamala, a prostitute.

“I was a young boy as you know Ji, at this age, hormones do play havoc in one’s body. My first brush with the voluptuous Jamala was at this very place. She had walked in, red lipstick and all, and asked for three kilos of rice. As I went about doing my thing, I managed to steal a few glances at her. She was a pretty woman, very pretty, and I wondered what it would be like to hold her pretty face in my hands Ji”

The book holds intricate life situations, numerous characters, and stories that stay with you for a very long time. All the authors have demonstrated remarkable storytelling skills, my favorites being Kathakali Mukerjee’s ‘In Search of a Love Story’ and Sufi House’s ‘Myself Adnanji’. This book is not only for love story fans but it is for all those who look forward to exploring some level of emotional and intellectual depth in their reads.

Price: INR 214 (KINDLE EDITION ebook) | Read it for free with Kindle Unlimited

Review by: Nazneen Kachwala